Sometimes you know things intuitively. For instance, I understand the term "sea change" in context. Enough to say that it accurately describes the shift I've been feeling inside of me. But in order to say that I knew for sure before putting words to paper, I had to look it up. Low and behold I find something more lovely than I could have imagined. Apparently the origin of this term comes from a verse out of Shakespeare's The Tempest:
Full fathom five thy father lies,
Of his bones are coral made,
Those are pearls that were his eyes,
Nothing of him that doth fade,
But doth suffer a sea-change,
into something rich and strange,
sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell,
Ding dong.
Hark! How I hear them, 'ding dong, bell.'
I looked up several definitions but found the one on Wikipedia to be the most poetic, so though it's less credible than Miriam Webster, I'll take poetic any day. Sea change - a gradual transformation in which the form is retained but the substance is replaced.
Yesterday after work I took a much needed step when I walked into the Literary Services of Wisconsin to attend a volunteer orientation. I haven't given any of my time on a consistent basis since 2004 when I served as a high school youth group advisor. Before that it was hours in a soup kitchen during high school on a required basis for my senior honors seminar. I'm embarrassed to say that I have not willingly volunteered myself to serve others for most of my life.
I'm not sure why the idea popped into my head recently, but I decided I wanted to give some of my time to help others. From the plethora of options, I determined that I wanted to focus on literacy because reading has been such a gift in my life. I often day dream about what it would be like to be an English teacher and to help people hone their comprehension of language and the written word. At this point anyway, I feel that is not a path I am going to pursue.
Though I usually hem and haw other everything and drag my feet, one afternoon I looked up organizations related to literacy in Milwaukee, found LSW and signed up to volunteer in an instant. I thought, heck, "why not? don't be afraid of something new for once!"
Last night I attended the orientation session and was thoroughly moved by the stories of adults with the courage and determination it takes to step forward and say that they want to learn to read or improve their reading. Several stories were so touching that I nearly started bawling right at the table in front of ten other people. I kept it to one tear that I quietly wiped away and then let excitement take over.
LSW offers several different types of tutoring including adult basic reading education, GED preparation and English as a second language. I decided to work in the GED program. My next step is to observe GED tutoring and then start my training to become a tutor. I'm so excited to meet new people, to give and to learn something new myself. I climbed to the roof of the building after the orientation was over and had the urge to weep out of sheer relief. It was magical and easier than I expected to take an active step toward living my life, on my terms in an expression of something I value deeply.
Then after doing my little grocery shopping, I made my way home and started looking up other opportunities for civic involvement. I'd already contacted the people from the Jackson Park Community Association over the weekend. Last night I found myself surfing the League of Women Voters of Milwaukee County site getting all jazzed. I had this spark of a moment where I realized, there are so many opportunities to be a part of this community and to act in ways that are in line with what's most important to me and I can probably even meet some new people and oh, this is just so marvelous...I can be the kind of person I'm meant to be, the kind of person hiding in there that hasn't been able to get out.
Now, to your average reader who volunteers or is involved or is quite self-enlightened that may seem a little dramatic and well, for lack of a better way to describe it, kind of a "duh moment." But it wasn't obvious for me. I felt like something deep inside of me woke up. A part of me that's been dormant for a long time. The me that felt the power to be herself like I could before all of this adolescent bullsh*t and experimentation and sadness. It was wonderful and relieving and many other things. I feel like a big kid now, new and yet the same me I was all along. I am thankful, just thankful for that.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 Bookroll
I began a list of my reads at the beginning of 2010, mostly for my own sake, but as it progressed realized it might be nice to create a bloggy bookroll at year's end. My year end total is 16 books. I love to read and when I do it's all or nothing for me. I basically read until I'm finished, if the book is a good one that is. So, I was surprised that I didn't actually read more this year, but I still think an average of a little more than one book a month is probably more than your typical American. And besides, we can't forget that I'm also tackling four US Weeklies and several cooking magazines a month, wink.
So, here goes:
Authors: Kate Dugan and Jennifer Owens
Category: Nonfiction essays
Month: January
How'd I snag it: Library
Rating: Thumbs up. Maybe not for everybody, but it was interesting for me to hear how these women rectify the conflict between their faith identities and their identities as women. I also know one of the editors/authors, so that added an element of interest for me.
Author: Barbara Kingsolver
Category: Fiction
Month: February
How'd I snag it: Bought it, hardcover
Rating: Waivering halvsies-thumb. Given its Kingsolver's first book in quite a while and that I've loved many of her other books, I thought this would be better. The story was fractured in two and left something to be desired in terms of its hold on the reader. However, I still greatly enjoyed the description of Mexico, which put me in the mood for our trip to Mexico City. I'd recommend it but certainly not for everybody. Ry tried to read it and only made it a few chapters in before he moved on to something else.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: March
How'd I snag it: Bought it, paperback
Rating: Halvies-thumb. This year I was clearly on a TC Boyle kick. There is something about his prose, use of language and the enveloping stories he tells that keep me coming back. I went to the store specifically looking to buy some Boyle and this was the result. It's good, as all Boyle is, and of course given the fact that its a story about sex-researcher Alfred Kinsey there are certainly some tantalizing bits, but overall it just felt like filler to me. Good, but for Boyle it falls somewhere in the middle.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: April
How'd I snag it: library
Rating: Thumbs down! Continuing my Boyle kick, I picked this book up. Yuck! The flash-forward, flash-back story of environmental radicals left more than something to be desired. I even recommended this one to a co-worker, based on what I thought he'd like, before I read it and was thoroughly embarrassed once I had. Wouldn't recommend this to anyone.
Author: Paul Fleischman
Category: Youth fiction
Month: May
How'd I snag it: Borrowed it from my teacher hubby
Rating: Thumbs up! This is a wonderful children's book about an urban neighborhood that comes together over a community garden that a little girl inadvertently starts by planting and nurturing a bean plant. It's an easy read for a little bit older elementary school kid, it's colorfully multicultural and it's definitely feel-good. I picked it up because Ryan was reading it with his kids in class. I would highly recommend it for kids of all ages.
Category: Memoir
Month: June
How'd I snag it: Stole it from my hubby who was reading it for a class
Awards: 1986 Nobel Peace Prize
Rating: Thumbs up. This book is a difficult read, as it chronicles Wiesel's experience in a Nazi concentration camp. It's short but significant and I believe it's something everyone should read. I picked it up because Ry was reading it for a Holocaust class he took over the summer for continuing education credits. I read it while we wasn't and actually finished before he did for class. Not really light summer reading, but worthwhile.
Author: Tony Cohan
Category: Travel memoir
Month: June
How'd I snag it: Grabbed it off our bookshelf
Rating: Thumbs up. We have a million books on our shelves and some of them go unread. Ry picked this book up some years back and never read it. I was simply looking for something to occupy my time and this one fit the bill. I loved the vivid images of the author and his wife's life in Mexico. The book chronicles their decision to drop out of life in Los Angeles in the mid-1980's and move to central Mexico. Any easy read and it satiated my desire for a slice of Mexico.
Author: Tom Wolfe
Category: Fiction
Month: July
How'd I snag it: Bought it, paperback
Rating: Thumbs up. Many, many of my higher education colleagues have recommended that I read this book as it chronicles the life of a small town, rural young woman as she transitions to her freshman year of college at a fictional ivy league university. It is funny, painful at times and very engaging. I could not put this 700 page book down and read the whole thing in about two days flat. It's not for everyone, it might be hyperbole, but it's also an accurate portrayal of the hedonistic style of college life in year one. And you know what? I lived that life for a total of six years, one as a student, five as a university administrator, so I'm a qualified judge. Ry also couldn't put it down when he read it.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: July
How'd I snag it: Library, book on tape
Rating: Waivering halvsies-thumb. So, I know what you are saying, "Book on tape, really? Does that count?" I say yes, especially since this is actually a re-read for me. We listened to this in the car on our summer road trip out to CO and AZ. It is a fictional account of the life of architect Frank Lloyd Wright told through the voices of three of his wives (he actually had four in total). Ry picked it up for me when it first came out to try and get me interested in Boyle. He had bought me one of Boyle's first books for my birthday, World's End, but I was obstinant about actually reading it. At that time I had recently read Loving Frank, another novel about Wright, and was sucked into The Women as well. It's a good read, but may not be for everyone. One of the wife-narrators is detestable and the way the reader portrayed her made it difficult to listen to. We listened to this one for our whole drive out to AZ and then some, so it was slow going. I'd still recommend it though.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: August
How'd I snag it: Library, book on tape
Rating: Thumbs up. We picked this up for our road trip as well but only got through the first little bit of it on our drive back to Wisconsin. I continued listening to it on my first commutes to UW-Whitewater when I started my new job. This book is a modern account of a deaf woman and her boyfriend as they stalk and attempt to catch the man who has stolen both of their identities. Sounds cheesy, but it's not. It has some of the elements of a caper, but it's more of a commentary on life from a deaf person's perspective. That part of it was thought provoking. It's accessible Boyle that's not historical fiction, I'd recommend it.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: August
How'd I snag it: Library
Rating: Halvsies-thumb. I have to say I didn't love it. This book is historical fiction that chronicles the experience of well-to-do patients in Dr. John Harvey Kellogg's (the original cereal guy) holistic medicine sanitarium in Battle Creek, MI in the early part of the 20th century. A somewhat engaging story, but a bit slow and this era was not particularly interesting to me. Curious to think that health and wellness scams have probably existed since the beginning of time. There were elements of this novel that fit today's health fads like a glove even though the subject at hand is clearly dated. Apparently this book was made into a movie a while back. Ry says the movie is good though I've never seen it.
Author: Jonathan Franzen
Category: Fiction
Month: September
How'd I snag it: Bought it, hardcover, release day
Rating: Huge thumbs up! I dedicated an entire post to this book in September, so I'm gonna link you to it here. Read this book. Also, read The Corrections while you're at it. I love Franzen's prose but have trouble with his essays. Click on Franzen's name above for a link to the front-age article from Time hailing him the great American novelist of our time.
Author: Erik Marcus
Category: Non-fiction
Month: October
How'd I snag it: Library
Rating: Thumbs up. A thorough look at the physical health, animal rights and and environmental benefits of giving up meat and an animal products. An easy introduction to the central ethical questions of a vegan lifestyle. I read it as inspiration, but have still not been able to cut out dairy products. I know that it would be good on many levels, but can't do it at this point.
Author: Laura Waterman
Category: Memoir
Month: October
How'd I snag it: Library
Rating: Halvsies thumb. I don't know what to say about this book. I heard an interview with the author on NPR and decided that I needed to read it. It chronicles the lives and marriage of Laura and Guy Waterman, homesteaders, outdoors authors and prominent New England rock climbers in the 1970's. The book is a look at how they built their lives as homesteaders in Vermont and how Laura supported her mentally ill husband (my assessment) as he prepared to commit suicide. A lot of people had good things to say about this book, but I just thought Guy was selfish. His death also seemed like such a waste. He clearly could have sought help and did not need to die as he chose to. Their life was ideal in many ways, but their relationship seemed strange and unhealthy. It was engaging but I'm not sure I would recommend it.
Author: TC Boyle
Category: Fiction
Month: December
How'd I snag it: Bought it, paperback
Awards: National Book Award Finalist 2003
Rating: Huge thumbs up. This is probably my favorite book of all time. I had a hankering to read it again, so I finally bought a copy and loved it just as much as the first time through. Boyle is so freaking smart, observant and funny. This is tale of a 1960's hippie commune that moves their life north to the Alaskan bush and attempts to make a go of it there, but clash with the locals in many ways. It's just great. If you only read one book by Boyle, this is it, hands down.
Author: Jeannette Walls
Category: Fiction/Memoir
Month: December
How'd I snag it: It was gifted to me by my mother-in-law, Beckie (thanks!)
Rating: Thumbs up. This is fiction, but is closely based on the life of the author's grandmother growing up in the American Southwest in the early 20th century. The writing is simple and the main character is a strong independent woman with lots of spunk. Having lived in Northern Arizona, I loved the imagery of this area. An easy read you could finish in a day and well worth it.
Hmm, let's see...trends for 2010 year:
A clear fixation with TC Boyle. He's great.
Novels and memoirs. This is nothing new for me. I love fiction and memoirs would always be my second choice as they are still engaging stories about people.
Books on tape during road trips. You should try it, you'll be amazed how quickly 24 hours can be filled up with great stories.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Love For The Library
This week has been utterly swallowed up by work. Not in the same way it used to be, where I'd work until the wee hours of the night responding to emergencies or leading staff meetings. But just days full to the point of bursting and spilling over a bit into the early evening, though largely pleasant and stimulating. I still get several hours of my night time at home, which this week has gone to running errands, doing laundry and unexpected pop-ins from family.
On Tuesday night we made it to the main Milwaukee Public Library in search of a specific book, a memoir, I'd been looking for called Losing The Garden. I heard an NPR interview with the author that was haunting and reflective. The book revolves around Laura Waterman's back-to-the-land-movement-style life as a homesteader in rural Vermont, her husband's long battle with inner demons (likely bipolar disorder), their marriage and his eventual suicide. The thing that makes their story a little different is the fact that he expressed his desire to end his life to Laura and she allowed him to make this choice by hiking up into the White Mountains and freezing to death. Sounds morbid and I'm not too far into it, so I don't know for sure, but what I gathered from the interview was that this memoir was a reflection on their life together and her process of deconstructing this choice and its effect on both of them. The thing that drew me in was the idea of learning more about their successful life as homesteaders for over 20 years and my interest in all things mental health, particularly understanding and preventing suicide.
After I found the book, I spent time roaming the library and exploring. I love this library and I always have. Though it's downtown, my family house was close enough that I could easily scoot down Wisconsin Avenue to spend time there and benefit from the much larger holding than my own near-suburban branch of the library. The grand mosaic-tiled entryway capped by a rotunda, the wide marble columns, the sweet smell of old, humid paper and even the homeless men who are invariably hanging out all the time peppering the steps or enjoying the warmth and comfort of the interior make it a homey and familiar place for me.
On the way in I checked out the display books, which usually peak my interest and I pick something out I didn't expect. This time it was Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating by Erik Marcus. Since I still have a desire to be vegan, but I've been finding it difficult, I thought it might be helpful to gain additional motivation and purpose to move a step back in that direction. Even though it wasn't what I came for, I've read almost the entire book already and found it fascinating.
After I located the book I came for, I wandered up and down the maze of the stacks looking for Ry, but couldn't find him. So, I decided to check out the Children's Library. I'd never been in this part of the library, but when we walked past the large windows outside, I saw the metal cutout of a playful looking lizard on top of one of the pendant lights and it made me giggle. When I was wandering inside, I realized this lamp must be in the kids section, so I decided to visit. I also love children's books and often think it would be interesting to try and write one, perhaps even work with my sister Greta or Ry's brother Steven, both artists who could illustrate. Ah, food for thought, another fleeting idea. Maybe someday. The Children's Library was thoughtfully decorated with several interactive displays, many colorful picture books, a reading area and computers equipt with learning programs.
On my way out I noticed a picture book with print illustrations in the New Arrivals area called Seasons by Blexbolex. It looked colorful and made me smile, so I decided to take it home with me. Upon further inspection, I learned the Blexbolex is a French print-artist who has a very particular style that is both retro and contemporary at the same time. The book was originally released in France last year. When I looked at the pictures and the sentiments it expressed, it seemed utterly French to me. Something that brought me a moment of connection with my French studies in college and even earlier.
My love for the library is strong, as well as many other public ventures that improve peoples' quality of life. Public library, public radio, public television, public healthcare, public education, public parks, public assistance for those who are struggling. In light of the current election cycle, I guess that makes me a communist. A healthy, well-feed, well-read, well-educated and happy communist.
I've been keeping a running tally of the books I've read throughout 2010 and am gearing up for a year-end book-roll where I'll revisit them with synopses and brief reviews. Not sure whether this will truly be interesting to readers, but I think it will be an interesting and useful reflection time for me. So, as the holiday season and new year approaches, get ready!
Finally, there's not been much cooking this week, but I did make my usual Sunday pot of experimental soup with cupboard staples and all leftover vegetables that need to be used up. Ry made homemade sourdough English muffins, a hearty sourdough miche, and a country sourdough round with a leaf stencil decoration.
Tomato, kale, potato soup with rosemary. Michigan brie, Rothkase herbed smoked cheese from Holland. Homemade sourdough. La Vielle Ferme red wine.
Sourdough miche. Ry's own creation.
Leaf stenciled country sourdough round.
On Tuesday night we made it to the main Milwaukee Public Library in search of a specific book, a memoir, I'd been looking for called Losing The Garden. I heard an NPR interview with the author that was haunting and reflective. The book revolves around Laura Waterman's back-to-the-land-movement-style life as a homesteader in rural Vermont, her husband's long battle with inner demons (likely bipolar disorder), their marriage and his eventual suicide. The thing that makes their story a little different is the fact that he expressed his desire to end his life to Laura and she allowed him to make this choice by hiking up into the White Mountains and freezing to death. Sounds morbid and I'm not too far into it, so I don't know for sure, but what I gathered from the interview was that this memoir was a reflection on their life together and her process of deconstructing this choice and its effect on both of them. The thing that drew me in was the idea of learning more about their successful life as homesteaders for over 20 years and my interest in all things mental health, particularly understanding and preventing suicide.
After I found the book, I spent time roaming the library and exploring. I love this library and I always have. Though it's downtown, my family house was close enough that I could easily scoot down Wisconsin Avenue to spend time there and benefit from the much larger holding than my own near-suburban branch of the library. The grand mosaic-tiled entryway capped by a rotunda, the wide marble columns, the sweet smell of old, humid paper and even the homeless men who are invariably hanging out all the time peppering the steps or enjoying the warmth and comfort of the interior make it a homey and familiar place for me.
On the way in I checked out the display books, which usually peak my interest and I pick something out I didn't expect. This time it was Vegan: The New Ethics of Eating by Erik Marcus. Since I still have a desire to be vegan, but I've been finding it difficult, I thought it might be helpful to gain additional motivation and purpose to move a step back in that direction. Even though it wasn't what I came for, I've read almost the entire book already and found it fascinating.
After I located the book I came for, I wandered up and down the maze of the stacks looking for Ry, but couldn't find him. So, I decided to check out the Children's Library. I'd never been in this part of the library, but when we walked past the large windows outside, I saw the metal cutout of a playful looking lizard on top of one of the pendant lights and it made me giggle. When I was wandering inside, I realized this lamp must be in the kids section, so I decided to visit. I also love children's books and often think it would be interesting to try and write one, perhaps even work with my sister Greta or Ry's brother Steven, both artists who could illustrate. Ah, food for thought, another fleeting idea. Maybe someday. The Children's Library was thoughtfully decorated with several interactive displays, many colorful picture books, a reading area and computers equipt with learning programs.
On my way out I noticed a picture book with print illustrations in the New Arrivals area called Seasons by Blexbolex. It looked colorful and made me smile, so I decided to take it home with me. Upon further inspection, I learned the Blexbolex is a French print-artist who has a very particular style that is both retro and contemporary at the same time. The book was originally released in France last year. When I looked at the pictures and the sentiments it expressed, it seemed utterly French to me. Something that brought me a moment of connection with my French studies in college and even earlier.
My love for the library is strong, as well as many other public ventures that improve peoples' quality of life. Public library, public radio, public television, public healthcare, public education, public parks, public assistance for those who are struggling. In light of the current election cycle, I guess that makes me a communist. A healthy, well-feed, well-read, well-educated and happy communist.
I've been keeping a running tally of the books I've read throughout 2010 and am gearing up for a year-end book-roll where I'll revisit them with synopses and brief reviews. Not sure whether this will truly be interesting to readers, but I think it will be an interesting and useful reflection time for me. So, as the holiday season and new year approaches, get ready!
Finally, there's not been much cooking this week, but I did make my usual Sunday pot of experimental soup with cupboard staples and all leftover vegetables that need to be used up. Ry made homemade sourdough English muffins, a hearty sourdough miche, and a country sourdough round with a leaf stencil decoration.
Tomato, kale, potato soup with rosemary. Michigan brie, Rothkase herbed smoked cheese from Holland. Homemade sourdough. La Vielle Ferme red wine.
Sourdough miche. Ry's own creation.
Leaf stenciled country sourdough round.
Slashing detail.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Freedom
What a loaded word. Means so many things to different people. And I guess considering the day and the associations attached to the word, it may not be appropriate that my title has nothing to do with the concept itself and more to do with a novel that explores the concept in a way, at least as it's relevant to our post-post-industrial-techno-global-consumerist-scared as hell-the-world is going to end-amped up culture at the moment. So, later in the post I'll be getting to Jonathan Franzen and his new novel nine years in the making, Freedom. But what would a Megan post be without an existentially tinged life update.
Obviously, I've been preoccupied, as evidenced by the lack of writing here. But there hasn't been much occurring in our home life because I've been just too busy with work. For those of you that know me, what else is new, right? I'm learning that you can take the girl out of a stressful work environment and put her in a new, moderately stressful one, but you can't make her stop stressing. And as it turns out, she can't quite make herself stop stressing.
So, as my hubby would say, I'm dutiful, thoughtful, care about quality and am maybe more than a little bit perfectionist. But my fixation on all of that is not helping me feel sane or helping the work float thoughts away at night. I'm working on developing a new way of being related to work, but it's going to take some time. Adjustment to new situations is especially difficult for me. I always feel that I should be able to do everything right, the first time, right away, but of course that's not reasonable. I need to give myself the freedom to make a mistake and evolve without torturing myself. It's going to take some time and I hope that I can learn to exist with work in a way that also lets me achieve a modicum of calm in my life. I'm asking you to please help remind me.
Onto the book, Ry ran to the bookstore for me and got it on the second day after its release. I'd read the story about Franzen and his new "Great American Novel" in Time magazine. And my connection to The Corrections was so strong, that I wanted Freedom now. I devoured all 562 pages of it in a gluttonous Labor Day reading extravaganza ignoring all sense of normalcy such as showering, getting dressed, cooking, doing housework or talking with people. It was an escape but also an intense fixation. Ryan respected this little obsession and left me alone with it, knowing full well that it would probably make my mood dip once I was done. This is what usually happens when I read novels with ferocity, I'm let down and missing the characters and wanting it not to be over when I finish. The more intense the reading process, the more intense the let down, really.
When I finished I thought about picking it up and starting all over again. But alas, Ryan had started reading it while I wasn't looking, so that wasn't an option. I've spent a good amount of post-Freedom time thinking about its contents. I also listened to half an interview segment with Franzen on NPR's Fresh Air only to determine I'd rather read Franzen's beautiful novels than listen to what he has to say. So, what is the book about? And is it worth reading?
Yes, yes. Read it. It's a spot on description of our modern society, yet it's still personal, funny, cynical, full of humanity and hopeful at the same time. It's about what freedom means to us personally and what we "give up" when we commit to certain choices that guide us down life's path. It's about the yearning for those other paths and people, but the let-down that inevitably comes from trying to re-capture what we cannot have anymore and come to find out we may not have ever really wanted in the first place. It's about how we see ourselves, our contemporaries, our heritage and how we are connected to those that raised us and made us who we are. It's about America and how we cannot sacrifice what is right for part of what is right attached to a war or disgusting corporate interests because we think that's our only option at doing good. It's about marriage, commitment, love, families, sex. It's about the environment and lovely little birds. It's about everything modern. It's about characters and a story that suck you in without being pretentious. It's about a lovely vocabulary and a little bit of black humor that exposes a big heart for troubled-everyday people.
In short, it's wonderful. And you should read it, now. And afterwords you should read The Corrections too. And then we should talk about it, because I desperately want to talk about it with someone. As for the claim of next Great American Novel, I'm not so sure. I'd love to hear what others think in that regard.
And one last exciting thing on the home front: we got a rockin' vintage mint condition '50's table ($150) that fits perfectly in our kitchen and a brand new fire pit ($35) from Craigslist. Boo-ya consumer economy. Reusable goods for sale out of a fellow Milwaukeean's home are where it's at! You'll all have to come over and enjoy then with us soon.
Ry working some bread dough.
The new table.
Freedom, with a bunch of other junk on the table.
Funky detail.
Obviously, I've been preoccupied, as evidenced by the lack of writing here. But there hasn't been much occurring in our home life because I've been just too busy with work. For those of you that know me, what else is new, right? I'm learning that you can take the girl out of a stressful work environment and put her in a new, moderately stressful one, but you can't make her stop stressing. And as it turns out, she can't quite make herself stop stressing.
So, as my hubby would say, I'm dutiful, thoughtful, care about quality and am maybe more than a little bit perfectionist. But my fixation on all of that is not helping me feel sane or helping the work float thoughts away at night. I'm working on developing a new way of being related to work, but it's going to take some time. Adjustment to new situations is especially difficult for me. I always feel that I should be able to do everything right, the first time, right away, but of course that's not reasonable. I need to give myself the freedom to make a mistake and evolve without torturing myself. It's going to take some time and I hope that I can learn to exist with work in a way that also lets me achieve a modicum of calm in my life. I'm asking you to please help remind me.
Onto the book, Ry ran to the bookstore for me and got it on the second day after its release. I'd read the story about Franzen and his new "Great American Novel" in Time magazine. And my connection to The Corrections was so strong, that I wanted Freedom now. I devoured all 562 pages of it in a gluttonous Labor Day reading extravaganza ignoring all sense of normalcy such as showering, getting dressed, cooking, doing housework or talking with people. It was an escape but also an intense fixation. Ryan respected this little obsession and left me alone with it, knowing full well that it would probably make my mood dip once I was done. This is what usually happens when I read novels with ferocity, I'm let down and missing the characters and wanting it not to be over when I finish. The more intense the reading process, the more intense the let down, really.
When I finished I thought about picking it up and starting all over again. But alas, Ryan had started reading it while I wasn't looking, so that wasn't an option. I've spent a good amount of post-Freedom time thinking about its contents. I also listened to half an interview segment with Franzen on NPR's Fresh Air only to determine I'd rather read Franzen's beautiful novels than listen to what he has to say. So, what is the book about? And is it worth reading?
Yes, yes. Read it. It's a spot on description of our modern society, yet it's still personal, funny, cynical, full of humanity and hopeful at the same time. It's about what freedom means to us personally and what we "give up" when we commit to certain choices that guide us down life's path. It's about the yearning for those other paths and people, but the let-down that inevitably comes from trying to re-capture what we cannot have anymore and come to find out we may not have ever really wanted in the first place. It's about how we see ourselves, our contemporaries, our heritage and how we are connected to those that raised us and made us who we are. It's about America and how we cannot sacrifice what is right for part of what is right attached to a war or disgusting corporate interests because we think that's our only option at doing good. It's about marriage, commitment, love, families, sex. It's about the environment and lovely little birds. It's about everything modern. It's about characters and a story that suck you in without being pretentious. It's about a lovely vocabulary and a little bit of black humor that exposes a big heart for troubled-everyday people.
In short, it's wonderful. And you should read it, now. And afterwords you should read The Corrections too. And then we should talk about it, because I desperately want to talk about it with someone. As for the claim of next Great American Novel, I'm not so sure. I'd love to hear what others think in that regard.
And one last exciting thing on the home front: we got a rockin' vintage mint condition '50's table ($150) that fits perfectly in our kitchen and a brand new fire pit ($35) from Craigslist. Boo-ya consumer economy. Reusable goods for sale out of a fellow Milwaukeean's home are where it's at! You'll all have to come over and enjoy then with us soon.
Ry working some bread dough.
The new table.
Freedom, with a bunch of other junk on the table.
Funky detail.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Flag, Sedona, Phx AZ And The Long Ride Home
We spent a total of three full days in Flag before heading down to Sedona for a stint in Red Rock Country. I'm proud to say that we hiked Mount Humphrey's up to the saddle, but couldn't summit the peak because of thunderstorms up top. Ry was very bummed about this because we'd started out sufficiently early at 8am. We surmised that even if we'd come earlier we might have actually been up on exposed rock when the storms started, so it was better that we only made it to the saddle. Not willing to risk a lightening strike, we decided to head down and hiked the rest of the trip in the rain. Every time Ry saw Humphrey's or Agassiz from town, which is almost everywhere by the way, he said the peak was taunting him. Next time, next time.
Otherwise, we mostly spent most of our time visiting with old friends and trying to take in some of the mountain splendor. We tried to hike into the Lava Tubes - a cave carved out by a river of molten lava (the peaks in the area are all volcanic) - but two of our light sources died as we were entering the cave. I also pretty much had a full on panic attack descending the craggy rocks into the cave. I don't think Ry has ever seen me as freaked out. I climbed out hyperventilating, did some deep breathing and then decided to try again. I was calmer when we went down the second time but the two light sources failed and we decided it wasn't safe to keep going on slick rock in total darkness. I guess safety issues bogged us down in our Flag physical endeavors twice!
We tooled around the NAU campus, which boasted many exciting new changes including a Union addition, a new conference center and a new residence hall. We visited with folks in the Office of Residence Life (ORL) and my favorite Student Affairs faculty member, Dr. Susan Longerbeam, housed in the College of Education.
The best part of our trip to Flag was visiting with old friends and co-workers. We dined with my old supervisor Matt (a multi-talented, super-witty Student Affairs professional, pilot and meteorologist) and a former co-worker Veronica, who actually interviewed me and offered me my grad position which helped me launch my illustrious career in Student Affairs! We visited with another old supervisor Gretchen in her office. She has been promoted to a new position, managed to open her own Jazzercise studio and is currently pregnant with her first child...exciting! She was one of my absolute favorites in Flag who provided me with much caring support. We visited a former grad colleague, Mellissa, her husband Trevor and their sweet two-year old daughter Violet in their home and got to catch up on most everything that'd happened in the last few years. Finally, we were able to visit my former co-worker and close friend, Scott when we made a side trip to Phoenix to visit Taliesin West (Frank Lloyd Wright's second home in Scottsdale, AZ).
After Flag we jetted down to Sedona where we stayed in the Baby Quail Inn. Apparently there are many quail in Sedona, but we didn't actually see any (especially not any babies) until we were on the Taliesin West grounds in Phx. For Ry's 36th birthday, we did a lovely, but easy hike on the Little Horse Trail that ended in an ascension of "Chicken Point" where we had great views of Bell Rock and The Courthouse red rock formations. We dined at Elote Cafe, a Mexican fusion place and celebrated quietly with delicious grapefruit margaritas.
We headed for home last Friday via I-40 with stops overnight stops in Amarillo and Springfield, MO. For our last real tourist attraction we visited the Cadillac Ranch and along the way home we listened to a book on CD called, The Women by T.C. Boyle about Frank Lloyd Wright's four significant wives and mistresses. I'd read the book before, but Ry hadn't and I thought it would be fitting with our visit to Taliesin West. I've actually read a couple of books about FLW and was geeking a bit about seeing Taliesin West (TW). TW was interesting, but I wasn't wowed per say. I also liked the book less than when I initially read it, which I think was thanks to the highly emotive male reader that insisted on doing an intense woman's Southern accent for one of the characters.
After we finished The Women, we started another TC Boyle book, Talk Talk for the remainder of the trip, but didn't make it through. This is a book about a deaf woman whose identity is stolen. Ironically enough, we returned to find out today that someone got a hold of our credit card number and attempted to use it at a tourist attraction in England of all places. Weird coincidence. I'm pretty in love with TC Boyle as an author (Ry turned me on to him after much insistence). I've read about five of his books, but if I had to recommend just one it would be Drop City. If you are looking for a smart, engaging novel with a highly evolved vocabulary that explores hippie commune life, this one's for you. Besides that, it was a National Book Award finalist in 2003.
Any who, enough about literature, though I have been thinking about incorporating book reviews into my writing here (keep your eyes peeled). We arrived home about 10pm this past Sunday and I was happy, happy, happy to sleep in my own bed. Ry and I have decided definitively that there is no hotel bed in the world as comfortable as our own. Everything was just where is should be. Thanks again to Kevan and Alicia for tending to our home while we were away. Except...the huge tree in front of our house was unexpectedly chopped down by the Milwaukee Forest Service. They cut off of the entire crown, so all that's left is a big trunk with nubs on it and it's slated for de-trunking later this summer. Big bummer. Big, big bummer. I guess it was pretty sick and new tree will be planted in its place, but it changes the whole feel of our abode.
In summary, this third annual road trip was awesome but different. It didn't have all the surprises of somewhere I'd never been before (like the Pacific Northwest) and we weren't able to camp at all due to extreme heat. But we were able to see dear friends, hike over 26 miles in mountain terrain and I was able to share a recent chapter of my life with Ry Ry. I struggled when I lived in Flag but that's only natural being far from home, working on a graduate degree and doing a tough, specific job I'd never even thought about doing before then. I've made peace with all of that. And I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to live in such a majestic place and get to know quality folks.
I can see clearly how that path led me directly to my present endeavors. It's funny that when things seem to make the least sense they can suddenly come into focus and be clear as day. It was wonderful to experience Flag with new eyes, not to mention a nostalgic nose for all of that fresh Ponderosa Pine scent.
So, today as I bought groceries on a leisurely day behind a woman with only $50 in food stamps to feed her family, I had to count my blessings that I just took a two week road trip with my wonderful husband, that I'm enjoying my fourth week off of work and that I was returning home to our lovely new house. I'm pretty lucky and for that it's important to give thanks.
Finally, I'm thankful for garlic sauteed kale and lentil soup. There's nothing like home cooking after a long sojourn.
Otherwise, we mostly spent most of our time visiting with old friends and trying to take in some of the mountain splendor. We tried to hike into the Lava Tubes - a cave carved out by a river of molten lava (the peaks in the area are all volcanic) - but two of our light sources died as we were entering the cave. I also pretty much had a full on panic attack descending the craggy rocks into the cave. I don't think Ry has ever seen me as freaked out. I climbed out hyperventilating, did some deep breathing and then decided to try again. I was calmer when we went down the second time but the two light sources failed and we decided it wasn't safe to keep going on slick rock in total darkness. I guess safety issues bogged us down in our Flag physical endeavors twice!
We tooled around the NAU campus, which boasted many exciting new changes including a Union addition, a new conference center and a new residence hall. We visited with folks in the Office of Residence Life (ORL) and my favorite Student Affairs faculty member, Dr. Susan Longerbeam, housed in the College of Education.
The best part of our trip to Flag was visiting with old friends and co-workers. We dined with my old supervisor Matt (a multi-talented, super-witty Student Affairs professional, pilot and meteorologist) and a former co-worker Veronica, who actually interviewed me and offered me my grad position which helped me launch my illustrious career in Student Affairs! We visited with another old supervisor Gretchen in her office. She has been promoted to a new position, managed to open her own Jazzercise studio and is currently pregnant with her first child...exciting! She was one of my absolute favorites in Flag who provided me with much caring support. We visited a former grad colleague, Mellissa, her husband Trevor and their sweet two-year old daughter Violet in their home and got to catch up on most everything that'd happened in the last few years. Finally, we were able to visit my former co-worker and close friend, Scott when we made a side trip to Phoenix to visit Taliesin West (Frank Lloyd Wright's second home in Scottsdale, AZ).
After Flag we jetted down to Sedona where we stayed in the Baby Quail Inn. Apparently there are many quail in Sedona, but we didn't actually see any (especially not any babies) until we were on the Taliesin West grounds in Phx. For Ry's 36th birthday, we did a lovely, but easy hike on the Little Horse Trail that ended in an ascension of "Chicken Point" where we had great views of Bell Rock and The Courthouse red rock formations. We dined at Elote Cafe, a Mexican fusion place and celebrated quietly with delicious grapefruit margaritas.
We headed for home last Friday via I-40 with stops overnight stops in Amarillo and Springfield, MO. For our last real tourist attraction we visited the Cadillac Ranch and along the way home we listened to a book on CD called, The Women by T.C. Boyle about Frank Lloyd Wright's four significant wives and mistresses. I'd read the book before, but Ry hadn't and I thought it would be fitting with our visit to Taliesin West. I've actually read a couple of books about FLW and was geeking a bit about seeing Taliesin West (TW). TW was interesting, but I wasn't wowed per say. I also liked the book less than when I initially read it, which I think was thanks to the highly emotive male reader that insisted on doing an intense woman's Southern accent for one of the characters.
After we finished The Women, we started another TC Boyle book, Talk Talk for the remainder of the trip, but didn't make it through. This is a book about a deaf woman whose identity is stolen. Ironically enough, we returned to find out today that someone got a hold of our credit card number and attempted to use it at a tourist attraction in England of all places. Weird coincidence. I'm pretty in love with TC Boyle as an author (Ry turned me on to him after much insistence). I've read about five of his books, but if I had to recommend just one it would be Drop City. If you are looking for a smart, engaging novel with a highly evolved vocabulary that explores hippie commune life, this one's for you. Besides that, it was a National Book Award finalist in 2003.
Any who, enough about literature, though I have been thinking about incorporating book reviews into my writing here (keep your eyes peeled). We arrived home about 10pm this past Sunday and I was happy, happy, happy to sleep in my own bed. Ry and I have decided definitively that there is no hotel bed in the world as comfortable as our own. Everything was just where is should be. Thanks again to Kevan and Alicia for tending to our home while we were away. Except...the huge tree in front of our house was unexpectedly chopped down by the Milwaukee Forest Service. They cut off of the entire crown, so all that's left is a big trunk with nubs on it and it's slated for de-trunking later this summer. Big bummer. Big, big bummer. I guess it was pretty sick and new tree will be planted in its place, but it changes the whole feel of our abode.
In summary, this third annual road trip was awesome but different. It didn't have all the surprises of somewhere I'd never been before (like the Pacific Northwest) and we weren't able to camp at all due to extreme heat. But we were able to see dear friends, hike over 26 miles in mountain terrain and I was able to share a recent chapter of my life with Ry Ry. I struggled when I lived in Flag but that's only natural being far from home, working on a graduate degree and doing a tough, specific job I'd never even thought about doing before then. I've made peace with all of that. And I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to live in such a majestic place and get to know quality folks.
I can see clearly how that path led me directly to my present endeavors. It's funny that when things seem to make the least sense they can suddenly come into focus and be clear as day. It was wonderful to experience Flag with new eyes, not to mention a nostalgic nose for all of that fresh Ponderosa Pine scent.
So, today as I bought groceries on a leisurely day behind a woman with only $50 in food stamps to feed her family, I had to count my blessings that I just took a two week road trip with my wonderful husband, that I'm enjoying my fourth week off of work and that I was returning home to our lovely new house. I'm pretty lucky and for that it's important to give thanks.
Finally, I'm thankful for garlic sauteed kale and lentil soup. There's nothing like home cooking after a long sojourn.
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