Big Leaf

Tonight when returning home from my bro-in-law Jon's birthday celebration I found the biggest maple leaf I've ever seen. Where in the heck did this thing come from?

For My Life and Simplicity's Sake

Today was my last day at work. I will be starting a new job on Monday. I've stepped off my intended career trajectory without understanding what it will mean for my future, which is a very challenging thing for me. Knowing I'm on a path forward, moving toward something definite and being dutiful to what I think I "should" be, have always been great comforts to me. Comfort in the sense that you believe you can see what's ahead clearly, which is of course, the illusion of control.

At the same time these "comforts" have also been so restrictive that I couldn't step off the path without severe anxiety. The irony is that I've put myself through hell trying not to stray from what I was "supposed" to do, which in turn caused the most extreme internal discord I have ever experienced. So much so, that it took a severe toll on my mental and physical health.

I've spent the last year feeling like a square peg in a round hole. No matter how much I wanted to do good or help people or persevere, I knew in my heart I could not continue. This was sad and a struggle to me, because under other circumstances, it might have been the right job for me. What I can say calmly now and with certainty is that it wasn't the right place and time for me. That's not something I can control or decide. That just is.

So, I found a new job and made the choice to take it for my life and for simplicity's sake. I need to be well. I need to find balance. I am looking forward to building my sense of self and living richly outside work.

That being said, it was hard for me to leave today. I cried when I had to move my boxes out of my office. I didn't expect that. I guess it shows my dedication and sense of duty, even when continuing to do something meant hurt.

I've learned a lot in a short time and for that I am appreciative. Right now I'm giving myself the freedom to not know what's next, down the road, or forever. I'm going to focus on being rather than doing.

Garden Fresh Tomatoes

We haven't done so well at nurturing our garden veggies this summer. I think we have learned things in the process that will assist us in making better choices next year all the way from seed to table. Tonight we enjoyed California BLTs made with a big, bright-red heirloom tomato. It was juicy, tangy, spicy, earthy all at once.

I Can't Believe I Live Here!

So, wow! Over the past year we have been living in a house with an essentially uninhabitable living room. It was the only room in the house we didn't paint justifying it by saying, "oh, we don't want to paint until we know what our furniture will be so it can all work together."

Then we started slowing amassing some vintage furniture pieces, but nothing you could sit on. After nearly a year we took a leap and bought an awesome mid-century couch. When we got it home it turns out it was less than awesome because it smelled and Silvio thought it was the biggest scratching post ever. While he slowly destroyed it, we took our time deciding whether we'd put it on the curb or reupholster it. Turns out upholstery fabric is super expensive and by the time we decided we'd be willing to sell it, it was not salable due to damage.

Then for a while, it was "well, we don't want to spend money on new furniture because it's soooo expensive and we are still afraid it will get damaged by the feline." Funny how we arrange our whole lives around this little being and he doesn't even speak back to us. One weekend, without much fan fare, we just drove down to Macy's in Schaumburg, IL and bought a new leather couch and two arm chairs. I will never look back!

Two lessons learned.

Lesson #1: Furniture that you can sit on is important! It doesn't matter if you have a huge beautiful living room if you never use it because you have nothing to sit on. Also, if you have nothing to sit on it's hard to invite friends and family over because sitting at the kitchen table will only do for so long.

Lesson #2: Even if furniture seems relatively expensive, and I'm at peace with what we paid, it is worth it! You can't live your whole life sitting on the floor, unless you're camping (smile)!

Before the furniture arrived we painted a color I've had on a swatch in the cabinet for five months. Purple, baby!

We still have to finish trim on the baseboards and windows and rehang most of our art, but we're almost there. Without further ado, our new and improved living room. I can't believe I live here! I just love it.

Fireplace Facelift

One afternoon back in April I started peeling paint off of our mantel without really giving thought to how much work it would be to refinish the thing. At that time the only thing on my mind what that it was a travesty for someone to paint over lovely woodwork.

Ry didn't really want to tackle this job, full-well knowing the work involved, but I didn't give him a choice. Thankfully, he is sweet of heart and possesses home improvement skills. I am a lucky woman who is overjoyed for this change that improves the quality of our living space. We are finally on our way to a cozy living room after a year of sitting in the kitchen!


Peeling process. I helped with this stage, though I'll admit I helped with nothing afterward.


Sanding the oak after scraping and stripping original varnish.


Resting with mask on forehead, admiring hard work.


Applying new stain.


After the last coat of varnish.


Next step, purple living room! Hence the furniture pushed to the middle of the room. I dislike these colors that belong to the former owner with my whole soul. Glad we will have something new in the near future.