Death To Social Media

I understand the irony of that title, given the fact that I'm using a form of social media at this very moment. I have come to the point of utter digust with Facebook, yet for whatever reason I cannot stay away from it.

My first attempt at a hiatus lasted less than one day. My second attempt (where I actually temporarily deactivated my account) lasted only three. Most times when I log on I become annoyed and come away with the feeling that our society has reached the lowest common denominator. Doppelganger? Everyone who loves their kids, post this in their status (who doesn't love their kids)? One Million Strong For A Pickle Over Nickelback? Sorry Ryan. Really? Is this how we're spending our valuable time?

I can say definitively that Facebook is not making my life better. It is not improving my relationships in a tangible way. It is not making me more informed about the world around us. Yet, I feel an overwhelming compulsion to log on.

There is something about social media that seems incredibly vacant and false to me. It allows us to hold the illusion that we are closer to our loved ones when, in reality, we talk to them and see them less. No amount of status updating or voyeuristic picture surfing fills the void that real social relationships used to play in my life. Before cell phones, before email. I want it all back. I have this fear that if I quit Facebook, I'll miss out on the limited chances I do have to connect with people. I'll miss that invite, that update, that inside joke, that little crucial tidbit that helps me feel like I'm an insider. In reality, I've never felt more like an outsider.

I also feel like I've lost any semblance of privacy. Where are my boundaries and how can I better define them, so I feel like my life is my own again? For starters, I deleted close to 180 friends from my profile tonight. I also restricted every one of my photo albums to friends only. I felt incredibly guilty deleting so many people. I know and like most of them very much. They are just not in my life, nor have they been for quite some time. I'll just have to let go of that guilt. Being on a list does not equal friendship.

Don't worry. I'm not going to run off and live in some reclusive shack in Montana like the Unabomber (though I do love postal mail). But I do want to reclaim some of the real parts of my life, starting with actual relationships and communication. This may prove tough for me because I'm shy and because the gulf between me and my loved ones seems large right now. It can be hard to pick up the phone after so long, but I need to make the effort.