Blog Redux

Over the weekend I was working a mandatory all-day event for our upcoming RA Selection process. All of the students who hope to become RAs participate in group activities and we observe them to see how they interact with others when working on tasks. During some of our down time the prostaff and I invaded a basement classroom and were hanging out shooting the sh*t. I told a couple of my female co-workers that I'd started a new blog and we began talking about hosting services. It came up that one of the other women and I had both used an older hosting service to post "blogs" in our early college years. I'm not even sure the word blog was in the common vernacular (a shout out to the Royal Tennenbaums for those listening) at that point. I thought I'd deleted mine, but for the heck of it we logged in to see if they were still there. Hers wasn't, but to my horror, mine was.

Later on that night I spent some time reading it to see what was there and decide if I'd share it with Ryan. It was a little snap shot into the mind of a twenty-one to twenty-three year old, but also an illustration of the significant ways I've changed since that time. I was floored at some of the things I deemed appropriate to share: partying, romantic liaisons, distateful language, personal accounts of my struggle with depression. Keep in mind it wasn't associated with my real name, but nonetheless, it was over the top. Ultimately I decided not to share it with Ryan.

When I have these moments of reflection on where I've come from (they happen occasionally when I start re-reading old journals) I usually start to dissect and analyze changes in me since the timeframe in question. It's always an emotional process. So, though I didn't share the old blog with Ryan, we talked about what I was struggling with and how I've moved forward since.

I am embarassed of some of the things that happened in the past. I don't want them to define me. There was a time when all they did was live in my head and I let them define me (Arizona - there's nothing like years away from your home, friends and family to drive this process). The reflection this time was more exhilarating than sad. I know that I've changed in positive ways, that I'm a stronger, better person than I ever was before. I thanked Ryan for his love, because it fortifies me and helps me feel more confident out there in the world.

A snapshot of our life that lives in the kitchen:



On a lighter note, last night I decided to bake some cookies for my staff meeting. I selected a crispy oatmeal recipe from a tattered Cook's Illustrated magazine where we've been challenging ourselves to hit all of the recipes. They offered an orange/almond modification, but since several of my ladies have nut allergies I elected to make make my own orange/dark chocolate modification. I used the zest from these organic Casa Casa oranges, which I bought for the first time last week. They have an interesting dark orange red color and are very juicy. Ryan says the cookies turned out great, but we'll have to wait until tonight's meeting for the verdict from my ladies.

Here are some pics of the process:

Still Life with Ingredients.



The dough.



Dough balls.



Posing with Ryan's new apron. Low and behold it actually serves a great function. I didn't even change out of my work clothes. I did have to take off my beautiful decorative scarf because I was hot!



The finished product on parchment.



Lastly, I want to give a little shout out for my sister, Greta. She is pretty humble about sharing her success stories with any of us in her family. Which means that she sometimes forgets to share important news. She has an art piece accepted into the show at the Society of North American Goldsmiths national conference for the second year in a row and has been admitted to a national undergraduate art research conference in Montana. Props Gret! These are great honors and it's cool to see your unique artistic style emmerge.